Putting The 'Ass' In 'Ambassador'

So U.S. Ambassador to Canada Paul Cellucci is disappointed.

TORONTO - Some tough words for the Canadian government from U.S. Ambassador Paul Cellucci: he blasted the Liberal government for its failure to back the United States' war in Iraq....

The ambassador said if there were ever a real threat to Canadian security the U.S, would be there to help. "There is no security threat to Canada that the United States would not be ready, willing and able to help with. There would be no debate, there would be no hesitation. We would be there for Canada ó part of our family," he said.

That's so nice of you Mr. Cellucci. Because, as you've obviously forgotten, Canada was there for you when your hostages needed a way out of Iran. And Canada was there for you on 9/11 when many of your citizens, stranded in flight when US airspace was closed, were diverted to airports across Canada, where they received comfort and support. In Newfoundland especially, overwhelmed communities opened their homes and their hearts to hordes of US travellers, making them feel like long-lost friends. (It would be nice if some of those Americans would write Mr. Cellucci and tell him to quit with the threats.)

We've been there with you in the war on terrorism. We've even lost service peopleókilled by your pilots who were hopped up on pills and couldn't seem to remember proper operating procedures. But, they say that's the price of war.

Yes, we've been there for you, Mr. Cellucci. No debate. No hesitation.

But when you ask us to send our sons and daughters to die in a war that's only about American power, well, that calls for some hesitation. And here's what we've decided:

We'll go to war with you, alongside you, when the cause is just; but we won't go to war for you.

And guess what, Mr. Cellucci? Canada is a sovereign nation, and we'll make up our own minds about going to war. So SHUT THE FUCK UP!

There, I feel better now.