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Jimbuck2's Joke Corner

Bono is at a U2 concert in Ireland when he asks the audience for some quiet.

Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A drunken voice from near the front of the audience pierces the silence...

"Fookin' stop doing it then!"

What's The New Jimbuck2?

Dig the new blog redesign! Spiffy, eh?

Gotta figure out how to add the other banner elements from the old template, but that shouldn't be too hard.

Whoa, barely a peep out of me in 2007, then three blog posts in the past week! I'm on fire!

La Fheile Padraig

Happy La Fheile Padraig*

That's St. Patrick's Day in Gaelic. If you want to know how to pronounce it, go here.

Slainte!

*accents deleted because they were screwing up the text formatting

Close Encounters...

I don't know if it's a full moon tonight, but it sure was a bizarre trip home from work. First, I get on the subway, only a few other people seated sparsely about. This little lady, Filipina, I think, gets on with a bunch of bags of groceries and a big shoulder bag, and even though there's a whole row of seats open across from me, she makes me move my bag from the seat next to me and takes up the whole 2 seats with her bags and herself, sitting at a bit of an angle, and squishing me in the corner against the door buttress thing. Her bag is partly on my leg. I move a bit and try to make some more room for myself. She's still encroaching on me a bit, but it's not a complete invasion of space so I let it ride. She's like a 4.5-footer. Little middle-aged lady. But she could have easily given me more room. A woman sits across from us, and she's looking at the lady with a quizzical expression, as if to say, "what's up with this lady?"

Then, later, my "close" friend gets out a book to read, and in so doing, places her elbow right across my right arm. I reach up with my left hand, move her elbow off me, saying "excuse me"... If I hadn't been so worn-out from work, I think I may have told her to get the fuck off me and shoved her away from me if she hadn't.

I figured maybe she wanted some sort of reaction from me, for whatever reason. It was almost like she was purposefully trying to provoke me. As my station was coming up at Woodbine, I figured I would get up, and then lean back in to her and say, as overly genuinely as possible, "have a nice day, ma'am." And smile. And then if she responded abusively, I'd dump her groceries on the floor.

But I didn't get a chance. When the train pulled into Woodbine, they announced that the train was out of service because of a power outage at Broadview which was effecting the line from there to west of Yonge. So in the general hubbub of everyone moving to "de-train", the moment just wasn't there.

On the subsequent bus ride down Woodbine I heard other passengers saying that the power outage was caused by a suicide jumper at one of the stations. Don't know if that's the case, and, of course, they don't normally report those in the media, but as I walked home a police car went zooming up Kingston Rd, siren and all, almost hitting an idiot driver at the corner of Dundas who didn't give the cop car the right of way. Then as I crossed at the intersection, another idiot driver almost ran me over. I let him know what I thought of his driving. Then another cop car went screaming up Kingston Rd. So something's going on, but I don't know if it's related to the subway situation. Maybe that lady pissed off the wrong guy after she didn't get what she wanted from me.

Ah, life in the big city...