Making Tracks

I don't like to waste money. So since I didn't spend any money on air fare this holiday season, I decided I'd better put the money I saved to good use. That makes sense, doesn't it?

So I went out this past weekend and picked me up a cool new toy.

Been looking to get something like this for a little while now, and I figured now is the time. I'm just starting to work my way through the manual, and it's pretty damn cool. Seems very user-friendly. It's really geared towards guitar players; just plug straight in and play. It's got tons of pre-set amp modeling patches and other cool effects. And of course, you can create your own sound, from choosing the virtual amp (Fender Twin? Matchless? Marshall Stack?) to setting the distance the virtual microphone is from the virtual amp's speaker. Amazing.

There are several bass simulation patches, so you can lay down bass tracks using an electric 6-string. There's also an input for a microphone and a line-in for other devices such as keyboards. And the drum machine sounds quite good, fairly realistic.

I did quite a bit of research on the web before deciding on this particular model. It got very good reviews, and there's even a Yahoo Group dedicated to it (nobody there seemed to be having any major problems with it, and most seemed to like it a lot). It uses a CompactFlash media card, comes with a 128MB card but accepts cards up to 1GB. I like the fact that it has a USB port, so I can dump my finished tracks on my computer, convert them to MP3s and burn them to CD (why pay twice as much for a model with the same features that also has a hard drive and a CD burner on board, when I already have those things on my iMac?). The USB connection also allows you to import sounds for making loops and to import extra rhythm sounds to customize drum sounds, such as a different snare sound, for instance. It really seems to give the most bang for the buck.

Guess what I'll be doing while I'm off work for the next week?

God R Us

Hello and happy holidays! It's been way too long between blog posts. Sorry for the delay. Just been busy with all the seasonal stuff. I hope you're all enjoying this most wonderful time of the year.*

I usually go home for the holidays, but this year I didn't have enough vacation days coming to me to warrant a trip out east, so I stayed around Toronto. Had a nice time getting together with friends and making music. Also took in the Kensington Market Festival of Lights procession, which has become something of a holiday tradition for me. This was my third.

It's a procession that takes place on the solstice to celebrate the return of light to the Earth (i.e., the days get longer after the solstice). People join in the procession--some carrying home-made lamps, candles and other forms of light, some dressed up in elaborate costumes--as it winds its way through the streets of Kensington Market. Along the way we are treated to fire-breathers, costumed characters on stilts, and various kinds of tableaux (some up on the rooftops and balconies), depicting a variety of things, from Asian tales to Aboriginal myths to some that are just plain... interesting. It all ends in a small city park where a huge papier machÈ icon of some sort (last year it was a phoenix; this year it was the sun) is burned in a bonfire, while the various costumed and stilt-wearing characters dance and a rag-tag band of Salvation Army deserters plays joyfully.

Here are some photos from previous years.

Christmas eve, I went to a church service/caroling night at Roy Thompson Hall. This was held by the Metropolitan Community Church Of Toronto, primarily known as a gay-positive church, so there was a nice feeling of inclusiveness in the air. My friend Sue and her family have been going to this Christmas eve service for a few years, and she graciously invited me to join them. The service featured a 50-person choir, a band with a small string section and a few horns, drums, bass, piano, organ. It was quite kick-ass. Lots of singing. Joy To The World, O Come All Ye Faithful, etc.

Now, it's been years since I stopped attending church. Recovering Catholic, don't you know. But I've always considered myself spiritual to some degree, more so in recent years. What do I believe? Well, although it's likely that my spiritual views will keep evolving throughout my life, at present they go something like this: There is no God, in the sense of a bearded man sitting on a throne in the clouds, directing things, handing out punishments and rewards. But "God" as the eternal, the divine? Maybe. Probably. If so, if there is "something out there", some energy or power, I believe it resides not "out there" at all, but in all of us, not as something external to us, which we then assign as the source of good (God) or evil (The Devil). The spiritual buck stops here. It is what we do in the world that causes good or evil.

And maybe not only does it (give "it" the name "God" if you want, or any of the many other names) reside in each of us, but in all living things. Maybe "it", "god" the "universal energy", whatever, is the sum total of all souls that have existed or will exist, or something, is some dimension of collective spiritual existence that we in this dimension can't begin to understand. Maybe. I haven't quite figured out this "unknowable" bit yet. I'm working on it.

It's closer to a neo-Pagan idea, I suppose. (see Festival Of Lights, above.) And I like that. Thinking that there is something beyond (further along, as the song says), that we rejoin after we leave this mortal plane. But not something foreign. A one-ness. Unity. Eternal. Not blessed or damned, divine or evil, just...everything. Peace. Eternal Composure.

The sea refuses no river.

Anyway, I say all that because the sermon at this service, delivered by the church's pastor, Reverend Brent Hawkes, marked the first time that a preacher actually made the Christmas message sound like something real and meaningful to me. He said he wanted to stress a different aspect of the Christmas message; that Jesus in the manger represents God becoming human, yes, but put another way, God in human form. God as us. God in us. And he ended by saying, imagine when the God in me encounters the God in you... imagine what we could accomplish.

Here was a minister from one of the world's major religions--the very ones that I'd largely written off years ago--presenting the concept of the Christmas story to me in a way that fit quite nicely into my current relatively alternative spirtual beliefs.

Another Christmas miracle!

After years of Catholic sermons that seemed lost in their own dogmatism and stale rhetoric, smothered in a fog of incense and ceremony, this was like a breath of fresh air. I never truly felt anything about the Christmas story held any relevance in my own life. I suppose since I never quite accepted the idea that we are all branded as "sinners" from birth, the idea that Jesus was sent to save us...well, as a message, it always struck me about as relevent as the pitch from those people who phone me up to sell me carpet cleaners for my hardwood floors. Yes, I'm sure it's a fine product, but y'see...

But now, here was a way for me to conceive of the Christmas message as a metaphor (as all good religious messages should be taken) that I could finally internalize: God is us.

Not that I have any plans to start attending church services again, but at least in years to come, whenever I see a nativity scene or a silver star atop a tree, I'll see not a stale icon I've long disconnected from, but rather a representation of the light that shines within us and amongst us.

That's a good message.

Peace, out.



* level of wonderfulness experienced may vary.

Time Is A Jet Plane

Oh, what's this? A free moment to update my blog!

...oops, there it goes...

[sigh]

That Fine Line Between Reality And Satire Runs Straight Through Moncton

Like most liberal-minded people, I'm all in favour of the concept of unions. But this story (from my former stomping grounds), is certainly a case of a principle taken to absurd lengths.

That's why I find this story fascinating. You can easily imagine it as a piece of social satire, stretching an idea into the realm of the absurd to make a point. It would be a textbook example of satirical commentaryóif it weren't ruined by being true-to-life.

I love the quote from the city spokesman. Gotta love understatement.

I would also like to nominate the title of this blog entry as my favourite so far, as well as being the title of my upcoming novel (to be completed sometime this century, I promise).

Consumption Junction

Interesting idea posted on the GTABloggers site for observing Buy Nothing Day tomorrow.

I like it! Good thing it's happening now though, as opposed to a few weeks from now when the xmas shopping frenzy will be at its height. Because then the zombies would simply blend in.

ah-choo

I god a code.
*sniff*

Weirder & Weirder

Okay, this horoscope thing is starting to freak me out. Today's was another strange one. Here's the background:

I'm currently working on a story for the SOCAN web page. It's a story I pitched to them about musicians who are earning some SOCAN money for their music, but who need to keep a day job to pay the bills. Since there's no database of musicians with day jobs out there--at least none that I know of--I pretty much had to go with musicians I knew who fell into that category. That's where my experience writing the Showcase page in Canadian Musician came in handy.

So I interviewed Linda M (works as a "background person" in film and TV) and Colleen Power in Newfoundland (works at a savoury farm, packaging) and Jay Clark Reid of Jay Clark And The Jones (works as wait staff at local eatery/bar/music spot C'est What). I had hoped to talk to Jim Bryson, because he had worked at Songbird music store in Ottawa, but his people never got back to me. So, that's when I got hold of Jay, as kind of a last-minute replacement. (No offence, Jay, if you're reading this. You were on my list, but I was trying to get a geographically diverse trio and I already had local Linda. Don't want to seem Toronto-centric. But when I didn't hear from Bryson, you got the call. Plus, waiting tables is the traditional musician's/actor's day job, so it was nice to get that angle in there.)

So, given that scenario, here's the last sentence (it's always the last sentence!) in my horoscope from this morning...

"Last-ditch effort resumes to find a replacement."

!!!!!!

[cue Twilight Zone theme music]

Zodiac My Back!

Okay, first a bit of background: About two years ago, I started getting these nagging pains from inside my left shoulder blade, running down the back of my left arm. Tingling in the fingers. I went to the doctor, and he determined it was nerve-related, and sent me for some physiotherapy. First they hooked my arm up to a TENS machine (electrodes placed on the arm, which sends little electric pulses through the nerves), then they put me in traction for a series of half-hour sessions. That helped somewhat, but I was still in some discomfort. X-rays proved inconclusive, so they scheduled me for an MRI. They put me on the "express" schedule, which meant that if I sheduled it for a 3 a.m. session, I only had to wait three months to get in.

By that time, the pain had mostly subsided, but the MRI did reveal that I had a compressed disc just below my neck. The disc was bulging slightly into the spinal column, causing the pain. The specialist at Sunnybrook told me that surgery was an option, but that if it's not hindering my life--and at that point it wasn't--then I may as well just leave it alone. Fine by me. Back surgey not something I'm excited about venturing into unless absolutely necessary.

So, fast forward to about six weeks ago, and I'm starting to get the pain again. Again to the doctor, again with the physiotherapy, again with the scheduled MRI in the fairly distant future. Only this time the physio involves neck/back exercises, ultrasound, TENS and back massage. Had my first massage session on Monday. The therapist is very cool, quite funny and seems to have a very intuitive sense with muscles. Spoke about "listening" to what the muscles had to tell her. Her hands are good ears. But she's kind of whacky, too. Breaks into fake Russian accents now and then. "Ees good, yah?" It was great though. I had no idea my muscles were so tight and knotted.

Add to this, the fact that I also hurt my knee last week while playing ball hockey. Almost hyper-extended it, but not as bad as that. I was turning to run up "ice" (read: floor) and my foot just landed weird, my leg was straight when my weight came on it, and I kind of jammed my knee. Crumpled to the floor in pain, and limped off. Had to sit out a few shifts, but I was able to walk it off and get back in the game. It's still a bit tender, but I can walk on it okay.

So, that leads us to today's horoscope in the Metro transit newspaper. I've written here before about the strange horoscopes this paper offers. Ones that advise me to buy new footwear (I did) and look under the bases of trees for things I've lost (I did. Nothing there).

So, keeping in mind that yesterday was my first back massage therapy session, here's the last sentence from my horoscope today:

"Knees and back must be catered to for pain relief."

I kid you not! Is that freaky, or what?

A Jolly Swag Man

I went to our semi-annual Returned Merchandise Sale at work today, and came away with a very nice box o' swag. This is where Columbia House employees are allowed to comb over thousands of CDs, VHS movies and DVDs that customers have returned for one reason or another. In most cases there's nothing wrong with the product. And the price is certainly right. CDs go for $3 (double CDs count as one); DVDs for $5. Multiple-disc sets are the best bargain. You pay the $3 for the first CD, and then each extra disc is a dollar, so a 4-CD boxed set would cost $6. For a 4-disc DVD set, you pay for the first three only. So that's $15. We're limited to 20 DVDs, and there's an overall limit if $200. We're allowed only one CD boxed set.

This is my fourth or fifth sale, and I still have boxes of CDs from previous years that I haven't listened to more than once (I gave them a spin to make sure there are no defects, but haven't returned to most of them, or even had time to file them in my CD rack). So this time, I was hunting DVDs. But my strategy is to first go for the CD boxed sets, since they tend to get picked over quickly. Fortunately, the tastes of the vast majority of my co-workers run more to the mainstream, so the stuff that I'm interested in usually gets passed over. Heh heh.

So here's the swag list:

CDs:

The Last Waltz Boxed Set (4 CDs) ($6!)
Son Volt - Trace
Pink Floyd - Dark Side Of The Moon (SACD)
Lou Reed - Transformer (Remastered)
Radiohead - Hail To The Thief

DVDs:

Bob Dylan, Don't Look Back
The Beatles, A Hard Day's Night: Deluxe Edition (2 discs)
The Last Waltz: Special Edition
Bruce Springsteen, The Complete Video Anthology
Pink Floyd, The Wall
This Is Spinal Tap (1 hour of extra, never-before-seen footage!)
Almost Famous: The Bootleg Cut (2 discs & Stillwater ep)
American Beauty
Brazil
The Hurricane (just because I have a walk-by scene as an extra)
Blade Runner: The Director's Cut
Apocalypse Now
Reservoir Dogs: 10th Anniversary Special Edition (2 discs)
Pulp Fiction
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
2001: A Space Oyssey
The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord Of The Rings: Fellowship Of The Ring - Special Extended Edition (4 discs) (beautiful set for $15!)

All of this for a grand total of $108, which just gets taken off my next pay cheque.

Now, I just need to get myself a DVD player.

Sites For Sore Eyes

There are always lots of wacky web things to be found in WFMU's Sites For Sore Eyes, but raptureletters.com takes the cake.

If you wish to do something now that will help your unbelieving friends and family after the rapture, you need to add those persons email address to our database. Their names will be stored indefinitely and a letter will be sent out to each of them on the first Friday after the rapture. Then they will receive another letter every friday after that.

How thoughtful of The Saved. It's comforting to know that The Chosen Ones are able to be this considerate. Not only will they leave a note behind, we'll get it emailed to us every Friday. Spam from the great beyond. For eternity.

Actually, I'm hoping the rapture happens fairly soon. The sudden heaven-exodus of millions of people will mean that there'll be some cool apartments available. And think of what it'll do to the real estate market. It'll be a buyer's bonanza! Newly married non-believing couples will finally be able to afford a nice home in the suburbs. Maybe it'll free up whole buildings and condos that can then be converted into affordable housing for low-income non-believing families and the heathen homeless. Our new slogan will be: "Don't repent; Save your rent! Your dream home is at hand!"

Of course, maybe if some of The Saved had put as much thought and effort into helping the homeless and the less fortunate as they put into this wonderful software and web site...well, who am I to criticize The Saved? Guess it really isn't what ya know, but Who ya know.

And speaking of religion, who knew that stove burners were not that far removed from religious icons? Or what beautiful structures can be built when we put our heads together (scroll down to see the pics of the Ossuary In Sedlec, Czech Republic).

And surely something--or someone--has possessed this three-year-old Korean girl.

Kinda makes you think, doesn't it? So make sure you live every day to the fullest, because you never know what might happen.

Radio, Radio

This is delicious! Check out this feature from Glorious Noise:

NEGATIVLAND PRANKS CLEAR CHANNEL,
FORCES RADIO FORMAT CHANGE.

High-larious! God bless Negativland and their little culture-jamming hearts.

To listen to their brilliant prank click here.

Like, boo!

Recently Observed

Best new band names:

Newfound Interest In Connecticut

Run With The Kittens

Haiku Night In Canada

The local CBC radio program "Here & Now" has been running a wonderful contest called "Haiku Night In Canada" (for those of you who aren't Canadian, "Hockey Night In Canada" is the nationally televised CBC broadcast of Saturday night NHL hockey games--a cultural institution. cf. "Monday Night Football").

Today was the last entry date, and I got my entries in just in time. You can see some of the entries here. Mine are near the bottom.

The rules stipulate one entry per contestent, but it seemed like everyone else was submitting multiples, so...I jumped off that cliff too.

Take The Good

Here's an Elliott Smith MP3, courtesy of the indie label he had worked with, Kill Rock Stars. This is one of the better songs from his Either/Or album. A little more folk-punk-ish than the more elaborate arrangements on later albums.

Between The Bars

There are also live MP3s available for download here.

Miss Misery Loves Company

October is turning out to be a brutal month. More leaves falling than usual. I didn't expect to be writing two suicide entries in a row.

Elliott Smith. Now gone.

Damn.

I was shocked when I read the news. It literally jolted me in my seat. But I can't say I was surprised. In the past year or so, while fans like me waited for him to release a new album, I had been hearing some disquieting accounts of messy live performances where Elliott was barely able to make it through songs, such as this review of a Chicago show opening for Wilco. It seemed Elliott was struggling with demons and chasing dragons. That review in Glorious Noise even strongly suggested that it was a battle he was bound to lose sooner than later. That prescience was sadly and bitterly noted in today's obit piece.

I reviewed a show he played here at the Opera House in 1999, and concluded by lamenting the fact that it ended too soon. Now I'm reprising that lament for the man himself.

He had apparently almost completed his long-awaited and much-delayed sixth album From A Basement On The Hill, which is reportedly an amazing piece of work. And he had released a single. No irony in the name of the record label. Jeezus.

If you don't know Elliott Smith's music, do yourself a favour and pick up Either/Or, X/O and Figure 8. I recommend the latter two especially.

His music was beautiful. Scratch that. His music is beautiful. Fragile. Turbulent. Tender. The closest thing to a post-grunge Beatles that I've heard. But certainly listening to his songs, you knew that he was, at his core, a troubled soul.

And yet...I don't know...how can someone write a song like "Say Yes", as poignant and achingly beautiful as anything from Alex Chilton or Paul Westerberg, and then end up ultimately saying the biggest No. At the same time, as generally positive as that song is ("I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl who's still around the morning after") it, like many of his songs, certainly reveals his insecurities...

Situations get fucked up
and turned around sooner or later...

I'll probably be the last to know
No one says until it shows
and you see how it is
They want you or they don't
Say yes

I just wish he would have been able to say Yes for a little while longer.

I'll give Elliott the last word:

Independence Day

Future butterfly
Gonna spend the day higher than high
You'll be beautiful confusion, ooh
Once I was you

I saw you caught between
All the people out making the scene
And a bright ideal tomorrow, ooh
Don't go too far
Stay who you are

Everybody knows
You only live a day
But it's brilliant anyway

I saw you in a perfect place
It's gonna happen soon but not today
So go to sleep and make the change
I'll meet you here tomorrow
Independence day
Independence day
Independence day

The Sea Refuses No River

It's always sad to learn that someone has taken their own life. I didn't really know Sofa/Noel very well; just through common membership in some on-line communities--the Elvis Costello list and the spin-off Splinter group. He seemed like a very interesting and creative person. My friend Dean--who regular readers will know from the thoughtful and often mischievous comments he leaves for me--was a close friend of Sofa's, and I feel for him, for the loss he's feeling now.

There are so many feelings that come with news of a suicide. There's the sense of guilt; that maybe we could have done more, made a difference. There's loss of course, and a sense of waste. Then there's the anger. How could they be so selfish? Didn't they consider the pain and confusion they'd leave behind in the people who loved them? (The radio in my head is playing Lucinda Williams' "Sweet Old World" over and over.) But though we draw sustenance and support from community, family and friends, I think we're each ultimately responsible for our own lives, or as my ex, Elaine, used to say, we're all alone. I don't wish to presume to know, but I can only surmise that Sofa felt there was no other option open for him. If that's the case, I hope he made the right decision for himself, and I hope he's found composure.

This weekend I'll be getting together with many of my friends, and I think, maybe, it's changed the colour of that event for me. I hope anyway, that I'll appreciate them all a little more, and be a little more grateful for their friendship and their uniqueness. And hopefully I can let them know in my own way that they make my life better and easier.

And yes, Dean, it is a good time to read this again. Thank you for that, by the way. It makes me feel better.

©© Rider

Do any of you fellow bloggers know what the story is on copyrighting the contents of one's blog? Is it binding? Can I simply put a © on the bottom, and say "contents copyright 2003 Jim Kelly" or something?

Yes, Alanis, There Is Irony

Received this unsolicited email today:

Spam Exterminator v.2.1 Pro (3.43Mb)

Description:
The powerful, effective and intelligent anti-spam tool.
It automatically cleans spam messages out of your mailbox before you receive or read them.

The most effective email pitch I ever ignored.

On The Groove

Some words of wisdom from bluesman Taj Mahal from an article in the October issue of Guitar Player magazine.

"...There's really only one groove," says Mahal, "And that's the groove that makes you dance. And I'm not just talking about the latest hip-snap, but the stuff that really has legs underneath it--unlike the music of many mainstream artists today--doesn't completely remove you from the thought process. I'm not saying you can't 'bling bling.' Bling all you want, but while you're doing it, why don't you bling something deeper into your music? Why don't you bling with the Africans, the Brazilians, the Cubans, and the Turks? Take the time to dip the ladle back into the primordial soup and put some hair on that animal."

And more on the groove...

"A good groove should be a release from all the crazy stuff that's coming at you all the time. It should be a place that is far away from all those things you can't do anything about."

Amen.

Submitted Without Comment

"Are you a musician?"

Now you can respond to this question by saying, "well, yes, I play a little guitar"óand truly mean a little guitar!

More Sites For Sore Eyes, from WFMU.

Word

I'd often wondered about the etymology of the word nuptials. Now, thanks to Dictionary.com's Word Of The Day, I need wonder no more.

Nuptial comes from Latin nuptialis, from nuptiae "marriage, wedding," from the past participle of nubere, properly, "to cover, to veil," hence, "to marry," as the head of the bride was covered with a veil.

And in the interests of perpetuating smartassedness everywhere, here is the etymology of the word etymology:

Middle English etimologie, from Old French ethimologie, from Medieval Latin ethimologia, from Latin etymologia, from Greek etumologi : etumon, true sense of a word; see etymon + -logi, -logy.

Putting The Fun in Fungus

Butch Mushroom

Morning Moolah Manna

I stopped at a generic bank machine in Kennedy Station on the way to work yesterday morning. Pressed the button to withdraw $80, and the machine spit out three 20s. I counted them again. Yep, just three. Thought for a second that I may have pressed $60 instead, but no, I'm sure I pressed $80.

It gets stranger.

I read the receipt, and it looked like it said $40 withdrawn. So...I wanted $80, got $60, and was debited for $40? But the receipt was printed oddly, the numbers all squished-together-like, so it was hard to tell if it was a 6 or a 4. But also on the receipt, it read "total requested amount could not be dispensed". I shrugged and shuffled off to catch the RT.

Later, at work, I checked my account transactions through on-line banking. My account had been debited $81.50 (service charge), then that transaction was reversed, and then it was indeed debited only $40.

So I got $20 free from the bank! Woo!
Pizza for dinner tonight!

Juan With The Wind

I phoned home tonight to check in with the folks in P.E.I., to see how they were dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Juan. Turns out that the western part of the Islandówhere my parents and most of my Island-resident siblings live, in Summersideówas untouched. However, Charlottetown, farther to the east, was hit harder, I was told, with some roofs blown off and boats in the harbour smashed. Not quite as bad as Halifax, it seems, which was the exact point of landfall for the storm.

Now they're saying Hurricane Kate is possibly up next. (I think I may have dated her once.)

Of course, even while poles were being blown down, the polls stayed open for the P.E.I. election. Voter turnout: more than 80%! Apparently some people actually had to vote in the dark. Guess that explains how they ended up re-electing a record third straight majority Tory government.

Some Guys Have All The Luck

Another interesting ad from the Craigslist. Normally I try not to be too judgmental when it comes to people's sexual kinks. Whatever turns you on (provided it doesn't hurt someone else...that is, unless they want it to hurt...but that's another subject). But there's something vaguely unhealthy about the kink in this ad. I mean, on the one hand I think, "fine, if all parties involved are into it, and that's what gets them off, knock yerselves out." But then...well, I'll let you decide.

Disabled man wanted by two women - 32 (Toronto)
Reply to: anon-16888408@craigslist.org
Sat Sep 27th

Able-bodied bisexual female couple would like to meet a good-looking man for friendship and sex, who is either paraplegic, an amputee, or uses crutches/braces. Drinks, non-penetrative fun, brunch?

Any Freudians out there care to take a crack at this one?

Talkiní TV Blues

I'm not what you might call an avid TV person. There aren't many programs that can rearrange my schedule. But tonight's TV line-up presents some tough choices:

- "Six Feet Under" on Showcase - The first season. I love this series!

- "Martin Scorsese presents The Blues" - First of a 7-part series on PBS.

- "Coyote Ugly"

What to do, what to do...

Steely Pandering

Since humourous lists seem to be so popular around here... well, here's another! I found this one on the Steely Dan web site while I was there today. Had to write some copy about their new album, so I was gathering info. It's actually a pretty funny web site.

So if it's funny lists you want, let's... Do It Again!
EXPRESSIONS TO AVOID DURING A RECORDING SESSION

[íCourse this one might be a little funnier for those of you who are musicians]

Muchos Blogias!

A big thank-you to the folks at Blogger Support for finding and fixing the problem with my blog template. Seems a '<' was being converted to an HTML character code at the end of my counter script.

A here I thought it might have been a loose gemsunsaddle obstructing my universal sprocket.

Strokes Of Genius

I don't know happened to my lovely blog. The whole right side is gone. It's like a blog stroke or something. I couldn't see anything abnormal in the template code, but I'll haver closer look "under the hood".

In the meantime, for your reading pleas-or, here are this year's winners in the Washington Post's Style Invitational [thanks Erwin]:

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, which stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

......And the Grand Winner is:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Resist!

Ticketmaster has come up with an oh-so-brilliant strategy to combat ticket scalping: becoming the biggest scalper on the block.

Wonderful.

"Superior apples just don't grow on trees."

Wow! A chance like this doesn't come around very often. Put on your creative thinking caps kids, because Agriculture Canada wants Canadians to name a new variety of apple.

Hmmm...
Pomme de Terror?
Juicy Newton?
Fantastico?

In Rotation Today

Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Steve Earle, Jerusalem
Bruce Springsteen, The Rising

Yes Comments

Comments are baaaaaaack!

Nailing My Files

I was wondering what the chances are that I would be one of the people targeted by the RIAA for file-sharing. (Leaving aside the fact that the RIAA is an American group, and I don't think they have jurisdiction beyond their own borders... do they?)

I do have more than 1,000 MP3s in my share folder. The vast majority of them, however, are rare or unreleased tracks, or "unofficial" live recordings. Still, does that make me a "node"?

But according to that article, the kinds of music files the RIAA's hard-drive bloodhound looks for include such songs as:

ï Bobby McFerrin, ìDonít Worry, Be Happyî
ï Thompson Twins, ìHold Me Nowî
ï Eagles, ìHotel Californiaî
ï George Michael, ìKissing A Foolî
ï Paula Abdul, ìKnocked Outî
ï Green Day, ìMinorityî
ï UB40, ìRed Red Wineî
ï Ludacris ìArea Codesî
ï Marvin Gaye, ìSexual Healingî
ï Avril Lavigne, ìComplicatedî

Okay, with the possible exception of Marvin's classic, I think I can breathe easier. Sometimes it pays to have good taste.

Warren, Peace

I'll join the blog chorus in wishing Warren Zevon an easy rest. Good stuff, Mr. Z. Thanks. What can you say at this point about a guy who faces his imminent death with humour and classóand releases a version of "Knockiní On Heaven's Door" as a single! I'll just let him have the last say:

"I've already led two lives. I got to be a wild, crazy, Jim Morrison quasi-rock star...and I got to be a sober dad for 18 years. I can't possibly complain."

No Comments

It appears my comments provider, YACCS, is down for maintenance. This from their web site:

Rate Your Music and YACCS are unavailable due to a server failure.

Estimated time for fix: September 8, 7PM EST

Update (September 3, 4:35 PM EST): It looks like the old server is still failing intermittently. I can't debug the problem (since the server is located across the country), so the quickest solution is to ship a new server to the colocation facility. I'm going to build a server tomorrow and ship it on Friday. It should arrive Monday, September 8 around 6PM EST and should be online around 7PM.

Again, I apologize for the downtime. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to speed things up; the process of ordering and shipping a server takes time, and yesterday was the first day since the outage that any stores were open.

The good news is that the new server is much better than the old one, so the site should be significantly faster/more responsive once it's running.

Thanks for your patience and understanding.

So I guess I'll sit tight and see if the service improves. In the mean time, if you want to leave a comment, you can always click my name at the bottom of the post and send me an email. Not quite as interactive and community-like, but it's all I can offer.

SITES FOR SORE EYES

[From WFMU]


BEATALLICA
www.beatallica.org
Publicity photos, fan art, and crazy Beatles tunes, done Metallica style.

BIG ALIEN CATS
www.bigaliencats.com/sight.htm
Ah, another clear example of the "too much time on hands" phenomenon.

BLACK DIAMOND: AN UNREAL NEAL DIAMOND EXPERIENCE
www.blackdiamondvocals.com/home.cfm
"It all started at eleven years old, when the two hundredth Caucasion [sic] lady leaned over the back of the church pew and said, "young man, you sound just like Neil Diamond". Unbeknownst to me, it was at that moment the Black Diamond show was born!"

BUILDINGS OF DISASTER
www.mossonline.com/asp/productshow.asp?prd_id=1027&pc_parent_id=151
Tasteless or commemorative? Only you can decide-but it will cost you $95.

MR. WONG'S SOUP'PARTMENTS
www.mrwong.de/myhouse/index.htm
The world's largest pixel-art virtual skyscraper, topping out in excess of 1000 meters and 331 virtual residents. Jesus, a karate class, Andre the Giant, and anti-IMF demonstrators are all virtual residents-and you can be too, with just a little bit of work.

ORIGINAL MULLET WIGS
www.mulletwigs.com/
"These fine-quality wigs cost only $19.99 each!" A small price to pay for irony.

Astro-huh?-logy

Another weirdly precise horoscope in the Metro commuter paper today:

SCORPIO
Exceptional strength of character will overcome obstacles. Clear up any misunderstanding. Lost object is near base of tree.

You don't say! I guess I better go check around the old oak tree.

Maybe they're trying to tell me I should search for my roots?

Big Blue Blows!

I don't know if you've been getting those annoying pop-up ads from IBM-Lotus softwareóthe one that doesn't so much pop up as take over the web page you were trying to viewóbut I get so pissed off everytime it appears. I finally decided to do something about it. I found their feedback link and fedback.

Your "pop-up" IBM-Lotus web ads are annoying in the extreme. Pop-up ads are annoying enough, but yours completely displaces a web page I'm trying to read. It's like you're reading the newspaper and someone comes along, rips the newspaper from your hands and puts a flyer there instead. Can you please discontinue these ads. They only serve to promote negative feelings towards your company.

If they annoy you too, please let them know.

More Fresh Tracks

The Epitaph web site is actually streaming the entire Weakerthans album in its entirety. Go here.

Fresh Tracks

We interrupt this supposed lull to bring you two great new songs from:

The amazing Weakerthans:
"Plea From A Cat Named Virtue".

The incredible Danny Michel:
"Perfect".

Running To Stand Still

Sorry for the lack of postings folks. Still need to write about my vacation, and post photos from that and from the Hillside festival, plus write about the Blue Rodeo night and hanginí with Woody, etc.

This is what happens when things in your life move faster than the speed of blog.

Stay tuned!

The Short Cut

Last night was a lot of fun, but I don't have time now to blog the whole thing up, so here's the short version:

Went to the Blue Rodeo show last night at the Molson Amphitheatre. Also on the bill were (in order of appearance: Jim Bryson, the Jayhawks and Kathleen Edwards). My friends Lisa and Heather know the bass player from the Jayhawks, Marc Perlman, and Lisa got him to leave some backstage passes for us. Woo!

Got to hang with the Jayhawks in their dressing room.

Missed their ridculously early 6:45 set - Boo!

But they're coming back in Oct with Lucinda Williams at Massey Hall - Yay!

Got to watch Blue Rodeo from the wings.

Horns, strings, fireworks, lightning!

Woody Harrelson was there, digging Blue Rodeo from the wings!

Ended up back at the Blue Rodeo dressing room after the show.

Bunch of people on the balcony watching lightning strike the CN Tower.

Woody has never seen lightning like this.

Attend the post-show party, meet and chat with various local musicos like Andy Maize of the Skydiggers, Bob Egan of Blue Rodeo, former Wilco associate, and the absurdly tall Scandinavian known as Lindy.

On the way to catch the streetcar home, walk through the now-deserted Exhibition fairgrounds. Very eerie, but thankfully no killer clowns.

Get home at 2am, take a shower, turn on the AC, and go to bed.

Fun night!

Downloadin' Fool

Been going crazy downloading mp3's today since I started using Drumbeat for Mac OS X. I've found more cool and rare songs and complete live sets from favourite artists like Wilco, Neil Young and Elvis Costello in one afternoon than a whole month of using Acquisition. For all you Mac users out there, give it a try.

Blackout? What blackout?

So far, so good. I haven't seen any of the rolling blackouts they've been warning us about. Not in this part of town, anyway. But I'm still trying to conserve power as much as possible. Having cereal for breakfast instead of frying up my usual omellette. Turning on only one light in the basement room instead of the usual two.

Lighting candles to provide a little extra light, and rediscovering how nice is it to sit in a candle-lit room, even while watching TV. I wonder if there aren't a lot of other people rediscovering the charm of candlelight.

I went out last night to the Horseshoe for the 10th annual Living Elvis Karaoke (people get up and sing Elvis songs with the house band). Had a bite to eat at a restaurant beforehand. Other than the buses that ran where the subway and streetcars would have been, it was a normal night out.

I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings. Subways probably won't be running, so I'll be bussing it all the way to work. Probably take me close to 2 hours. Ugh.

Lights off, lights on

The up-side to a blackout in a big city? It's a great opportunity for star-gazing. Look for Mars and meteor showers.

The Big Crash

I was pissed off all week at work because my new computer kept crashing on me.

And then virtually the whole of northeasern North America goes and crashes!

When the lights went out at work, just after 4pm, it didn't seem that unusual, since we get the odd power failure in the building every now and then. But for all the radios people had at work stations and in their offices, not one had batteries! So people started phoning their spouses and friends in other parts of the city, and the picture started coming together that this was a much bigger problem. The whole city, it looked like, at that point.

Ray, over at the Royalty Payments department, phoned his mother in Vancouver, and she had been watching CNN and Newsworld, and that's when we started to see that it was a problem involving more than just the city. I was in my boss's office, and we phoned my parents in P.E.I. They had power, and they held the phone up to the TV, so we got the story from CNN.

Then, as it became obvious that we were done for the day, it became a question of getting home. I work in the extreme northeast of Scarborough, and I live in eastern Toronto, normally a one-hour commute by subway and bus. With the subways obviously knocked out, and intersections without traffic lights, it wasn't looking good. I started the journey by getting a lift with my boss, who lives downtown, but as the radio told us stories of traffic gridlock, he was getting anxious about the side-trip he would have to make down the Don Valley Parkway (known affectionately as the Don Valley Parking Lot during normal rush-hour traffic) to drop me off. So I bailed out and hopped on a bus, thinking it would be a wiser choice than getting stuck in gridlocked traffick for hours and possibly running out of gas.

Not sure if it was the best choice. The first bus was jam-packed and hot as hell. Inching along down car-congested Neilson Road. Most intersections weren't too bad, although some drivers have no idea how to behave when a formerly traffic-lighted intersection becomes a 4-way stop. But at least I felt pretty safe in the bus. The RT at Scarborough Town Centre was knocked out, of course, so I had to catch a bus (which I waited about 25 minutes for) to Kennedy Station, where I would normally transfer to the subway. There I caught a bus to Main Street station, and then another bus to get me home.

The only food I had in the house that didn't require electricity to prepare was cereal. So I had a few bowls and then got out the candles and flashlights. I spent the evening in the candle-lit basement, playing my acoustic guitar.

The power came back on around 1:30. We ran the central air-conditioning briefly, just to cool off the house a little. It was so muggy outside, having the windows open didn't provide any relief. Just more hot air. I slept in the basement because it was cooler and quieteróthe people next door were sitting in their backyard, having a bit of a party.

I had heard before I went to bed that the premier had declared a state of emergency in the province and was urging non-essential people not to go to work on Friday. I got up at 7:30 and tried to phone work, but just got a busy signal. Without knowing whether or not they had power there, there wasn't much sense of going in. I phoned again later in the morning, but still got a busy signal.

Woo! Day off!

The power has gone off briefly a couple of times, so there's no knowing how stable the grid is. I better go out and try to get some food and some money and maybe some extra batteries and candles and suchóif I can.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Well, I'm back from my vacation and settling into my old routines back home in the Big Smoke. Got the first day back at work out of the way, and it wasn't too painful. In fact, in my absence I was given a new computeróa Mac tower, a G3 I think, which is a step up from what I had, and they upgraded me from OS 8.6 to 9.2, which is about time. It's a lot faster machine, that's for sure.

Had a very nice time back east. Spent the first 5 or 6 days in New Brunswick, at the lovely home of my friends Derek and Sheri, out in the hills outside Moncton, where I did a lot of frollicking with their 7-month-old Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy, Jessi. She's a great dog. Still a pup, but she's already a horse. Long legs. Big goofy paws. Lotta fun. Lotta energy. Speaking of horses, I also went horseback riding for the first time in my life, which was fun. Got a couple of beach days in too.

Saw all my old buddies who still live in the areaóguys I've known since I was 15 or so. And, of course, I got to see my friends Dan and Joanne's new baby, Mia, all of 3 days old by the time I saw her. She was born the night I arrived. How's that for timing?

Unfortunately, P.E.I. was a bit rainy and overcast for the last part of the vacation, so I didn't get that hit of blue skies and ocean and green fields and red soil, but it was nice to see the fambly. I did take a rainy solo drive down Cavendish way one afternoon, which wasn't ideal, but still nice to reconnect with the Island.

I'll post some pics once I get then developed.

Bonn Voy-ajee

Well, after a grueling two-day week (hey, it was grueling), I'm leaving tomorrow for a 10-day vacation. Going back east to visit friends in New Brunswick and family on P.E.I.

Gonna miss the big Stones SARS-stock show (not that I would have gone anyway). Hope everyone has fun, and no one gets hurt.

While I'm gone, I'll leave you all with this to look at (thanks Mike).

Fit to be tie-dyed

Well, Hillside was an absolute blast! Got to Guelph Friday afternoon and spent a fabulous three-day weekend listening to great music, eating yummy food and enjoying the great outdoors on a tiny island in a man-made lake. We camped at Elora Gorge, which is just about 15 minutes down the road. It rained on Saturday morning, but that didn't stop us. Came prepared with rainwear for the fest and an awning for the campsite. No prob. But it cleared up by early afternoon and the weather from then on was just about perfect.

I couldn't even begin to talk about highlights. Nathan Wiley. Sarah Harmer. Buck 65. Jim Bryson. The Fembots. The Brothers Cosmoline. Broken Social Scene. Chris Brown & Kate Fenner. Stacey Earle & Mark Stuart. They were all great.

Some of the finest moments were found in the side stages, under the canvas big-top tents where musical mixing and matching ruled the day. One session, titled "Close to You", featured a loose conglomeration of folks including Chris Brown, members of The Dears, Metric, Broken Social Scene (Leslie Feist and, I think, Jason Collett), who started out jamming on a loose theme, led by Chris Brown's clavinet-like keys, which turned out to be a very, um... freely defined version of the aforesaid Carpenters song. It would chug along and change direction and mutate, depending on which player felt like taking the reins. Then it would fall apart and almost disintegrateóplayers would leave and others would take their placeóbefore someone would pick up a shattered piece of the jam and toss it up in the air again, reviving the madness. This went on for at least 20 minutes. Same song. It was fun.

Then there was the Sunday session which threw together The Rheostatics and members of a group from Chad called H'Sao. I can't even begin to say what that was like, other than that it was wonderful and uplifting.

But the best part of Hillside is just the vibe. There's a certain amount of neo-hippy stuff, to be sure. Drum circles. Healing tents. Arts and crafts. But beyond that, or maybe stemming from that, there's just a real palpable sense of acceptance, and the awareness that you're enjoying a lovely time with a lot of other people who appreciate great, mostly independent music. Hillside has a spirit unto itself. There are people of all ages, families, little kids, aging hippies, folksters, neo-hippies, indie-music youngsters. Oh, and this year was the 20th anniversary and it was being filmed for a documentary. Maybe you'll see me there!

Major kudos to the organizers for pulling off another special Hillside weekend.

Wanted?

I don't know if you're familiar with Craigslist, but it's like a classifieds web page with local sites for most major North American cities. I've been using it recently to keep track of items for sale, events, jobs, apartments for rent, etc. Sometimes you see an ad that is miscategorized or distasteful, and you can flag it. If enough members flag the same ad, the admin people can remove it from the site. I've flagged a couple that were dubious.

I'm not sure what to think of this one. It appeared under the "For Sale" category:

potentially brilliant caucasian baby (unborn) - $99000
Reply to: anon-14087004@craigslist.org
Date: 2003-07-27, 9:21AM

Undecided whether or not to have a baby, not quite 1 month pregnant. If you have the money but are unable to have kids I may consider giving up my baby. Considering abortion right now. Religous fanatics please do not respond. Serious replies only.

Is this legal? I suppose there are private adoptions, aren't there? Is it tasteless? Is it ethical? I found it quite shocking, but should I? I mean, this kind of thing happens all the timeóbabies being given up for adoption, and rich, childless couples buying unwanted babies. Maybe it's because it appeared between classified ads for health supplements and furniture. It just leaves my head spinning.

"We are stardust..."

Off to Guelph tomorrow for three days of camping and music at the Hillside Festival. Should be a blast.

Three days, man! Three days!

When Dull isn't Dull

Thanks, Heather, for passing along a link to The Dullest Blog In The World. Hi-larious.

Say It Ain't So!

The indie music cognoscenti over at Glorious Noise are rightfully in a snitóa stunned, disbelieving kind of snitóover the news that the latest band to enlist the services of the production team The Matrix is... The Mooney Suzuki!

It was bad enough that Liz Phair had four of the fourteen songs on her new album written and produced by the Matrix, the team responsible for Avril Lavigne's "Sk8ter Boi" and "Complicated." But now Glorious Noise has discovered that one of our favorite rock and roll combos, the Mooney Suzuki, is currently recording with the Matrix as well! Please, someone tell us this is not true. That this is just some kind of internet rumor. Or at least tell us that once they hear the results, everyone will realize it was a ridiculous idea and scrap the tracks...

Noooooo! Not The Mooney! Don't turn The Mooney Suzukiópossibly the most incredible live rock íní roll band I've ever seen [see archived post from NxNE 2 years ago]óinto bland radio alt-rock.

Can no one escape the Matrix?

Who Has Seen The Wind?

This is almost kind of spooky. I mentioned the Neil Young bio I was readingó"Shakey" by Jimmy McDonough. And earlier I blogged about how I first started getting into Neil's music, and one specific occasion when I saw him and Crazy Horse performing "Like A Hurricane" on late night TV. I quote:

I switched on the small black-and-white TV to see if anything interesting was on Friday Night Videos. And there was. Neil and Crazy Horse. Live footage of them performing "Like A Hurricane". I've never seen this footage since. Sometimes I wonder if I was hallucinating. Neil had really long, straight hair, and as he wailed away on Old Black, his black Les Paul, his hair was blown back from his face by a powerful fan.
And I was blown away. I sat transfixed on the floor in front of the TV, drinking it all in.... If I was already a fan, this experience branded me for good. It sewed a Crazy Horse patch on my soul.

Well, it looks like McDonough had a similar experience in his nascent Neil-fandom. From "Shakey", page 494:

"'Like A Hurricane' is one of those songs that defines an era. 'Rock is about a micro-moment,' said writer Richard Meltzer. 'It's not even about a yearóit's about, like, a day. These songs are almost time-coded with a date on them. Rock does not feel separate from its time, which I don't feel about jazz, classical, any other shit. It was disposable stuff, and whatever these people did to make themselves important in the eyes of eternity, the stuff only works if it got under your skin in the moment. I hear it and smell the day I heard it.'
I know what Meltzer's talking about. Hearing 'Hurricane,' I can smell the pastóin particular, a woozy night at a friend's house. This gal I was obsessed with had just shown up. She had torn down from South Bend to Indianapolis in a green í76 Grand Prix hijacked from her oblivious mother. We met in my friend's living room, Midnight Special blasting out of the TV. Wolfman Jack announced, 'NEIL YOUNG!' in that garbage-can voice of his, and on popped a live clip of Young and the Horse flailing away at 'Hurricane.'
Standing in the blast of a wind machine, Young looked more simian than human, the band barely visible. The whole thing was so dark and murky it was like peering into a dirty aquarium. It didn't look like the rest of the The Midnight Special. I'll tell yaóit looked real. You could almost feel the storm. We stood in the darkened room, eyes riveted to the glowing TV. Once it ended, we two young lovers waltzed out into the cool, dark summer air, hopped into the Grand Prix and blasted down the highway, headed for a cheap hotel. I had a dame I was crazy about and she was crazy about meówe felt as invincible as gods. Of course, it all went to hell in a handbag, but for a moment there it seemed like anything was possible, and 'Like A Hurricane' was the soundtrack fueling our dimestore dreams."

I left the Meltzer stuff in because I thought it was interesting context. But that's a pretty interesting parallel experience, huh? Well, except for the "dame" and all that. I guess it wasn't Friday Night Videos, but The Midnight Special that I tuned in. Makes more sense. Nice to know I wasn't hallucinating.

Coughiní, Not Coffin

Looks like I got my blog comments back. Blogger.com has recently overhauled their services, so I had to get new code from the YACCS people, who supply the comments feature. Doing that screwed up my template a bit, but I think I got it back to the way it was.

Can't really post a lot tonight, as I'm floating along on a nice cough-syrup buzz, after sleeping most of the evening on the couch. Don't worry, it's not SARS. I wanted to post about the Neil Young bio I'm presently readingó"Shakey" by Jimmy McDonoughówhich I'm really quite immersed in. Quite a feat, since I've read two or three other Neil biosóyou'd think it'd be like running over same old ground. Not so. McDonough's benefits from being much more in-depth, and also from the fact that he was actually able to sit down with Neil and interview him, a coup most of the other bios weren't able to achieve. It's a good read. McDonough's a fan, and he writes with a real appreciation of the music and the artist, but he doesn't gloss over any of Young's foibles or shortcomings. Highly recommended.

Seems I ended up posting about it after all.

As I type this, there's a gang of racoons outside the window scampering around on the fence and the big tree. I have the window open, screen in place, and was standing there (I'm in the basement, the window at ground level) trying to "connect" with the little furry varmints. I started playing my guitar, and they seemed to scamper closer, or maybe farther awayóhard to tell, as it's too dark to see them unless they're on top of the fence, silhouetted against the skyóand then it sounded like one of them fell off the fence into a big pile of sticks that leans in the corner where the fence meets the house. Made quite a racket.

Then I thought...stage-diving?

I swear.

No Comments

Seems my comments have been not telling me when people have been leaving comments. Just says '0'. I thought it was kind of quiet. Here I thought people were ignoring my posts, and people leaving comments probably thought I was ignoring their comments. I'll look into it.

How's My Preaching?

Remember in school how you used to relish tormenting the substitute teacher? Seems like it's the same thing for substitute preachers. And just like in school, there's always someone (who shall remain nameless) who goes a little too far.

Fine Bouquet, No Smudging

Next time you have a dinner party, and you want to impress your guests, leave the best bubbly in the cellar and break out a carton of the í03 Epson.

"Would monsieur care to smell zee carrrtrrridge?"

Money Matters

First of all, let me say right off the bat, that I'm no financial genius. I was always good at math, but put a dollar-sign in front of a number, and start getting all "interest this" and "compound yearly amortized" that, I go into dumb-dumb land.

So...

For a while now I've been thinking that it would be a good idea to consolidate my debt. I've got a student loan, a line of credit and I've been carrying a fairly large balance on my VISA card (which I've switched to a low-interest card in the past year). And then, out of the blue, my bank calls me and asks if I'd be interested in getting a low-interest loan to consolidate my debt. Great timing!

So I spoke to a rep about it, and we discussed options. They offered a loan at 8% interest, which is lower than my student loan (~10%), LoC (8.5%) and card (10.5%). Over 4 years, the monthly payments would be only slightly lower than what I pay on the combined debt now. Except that, in an attempt to more aggressively reduce the balance on my VISA card, I've set up my bank account so that on each bi-weekly pay day, an extra $100 gets paid to my VISA account, over and above the minimum payment. So, if I were to pay off the card with the consolidation loan, I would have that $200 a month back in my pocket.

Now this seems like a no-brainer to me, but I told them I wanted a little while to consider it. There are a few things on my mind:

1) I have a natural distrust of the big banks. Not to the extent that I stuff money under my mattress. I'm not that paranoid. (Besides, that's the first place they'd look.) But I do question their motives. (These are the people who charge us outrageous service charges for letting us access our own money.) What's in it for them? Do they stand to make more money off me in the long run with constant monthly payments over four years? After all, if I keep paying off my VISA balance, the payments will get smaller and smaller. Or are they simply being proactive in a competitive financial services sector? Trying to maintain me as a continued customer for their products?

2) Should I try to talk them into giving me a better interest rate? Can I do that? I think I may want a longer term: five years instead of four years, meaning somewhat lower monthly payments, but longer to pay it off.

3) What's better, a fixed rate loan, or a variable rate loan. If I go with a variable rate, as I understand it, are interest rates expected to go up or down significantly in the forseeable future? Maybe a fixed rate is safer?

4) I probably should check out some of the other banks to see if they have a better offer, no? If I can get better terms from them, I should go with them, right? Or can I use that to haggle with my bank? "Hey, BMO has a 7% loan. Can you meet that, ya bastards?" I mean, minus the "ya bastards" part.

If any of you loyal readers have been down this road yourself, or have any advice to share, I would appreciate your comments. Thanks.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

If you're like me, sometimes you find yourself asking "Where can I get a Bat-Man outfit", or "I sure could use a dehydrated boulder right about now", or "Jeez, I wish I had a giant rubber band, especially one I could use to trip roadrunners."

Well, there's only one place to get all those things and more: ACME, of course! And now, these amazing items are only a click away, thanks to The Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products.

Why wait?

Pam Pam

This actually looks like it might be fun. I have to admit, I admire Pamela's ability to send up her own image. "V.I.P." was a perfect vehicle for her. It weren't Emmy material, but it was right for her. C'mon, let's have a show of handsóhow many of you are closet "V.I.P." fans?

And she's really quite funny, isn't she. I bet she'd be a fun date. Maybe it's time I started returning her calls.

Just arrived in from the coast...

Just got back yesterday from a week's vacation in California. Had a great time. It was a very nice mix of travel and chill. Stayed at my sister's place, just off the strand in Hermosa Beach. (See another Strand cam here. We ate breakfast at this restaurant before I caught my flight out.)

We travelled down to Mexico, a beautiful drive down the west coast of the Baja peninsula to Ensenada, a lovely port city roughly an hour south of Tijuana (yes, on "The Road To Ensenada"). About a 5-hour trip from LA.

Visited world-famous Hussongs Cantina, "Birthplace of the Margarita". Stopped briefly in Rosarito on the way back, and that evening we stayed at the home of my sister's friends in San Diego, on Coronado Island, where there are a few military bases.

Later in the week, we drove to Las Vegas for a quick overnight visit. It's about a 4-hour drive from LA. I had never been to Sin City and had never been in a desert before either. Both were worth seeing for completely different reasons. Saw aliens. Saw Elvis. More on that later.

The rest of the time I explored around the South Bay areaóHermosa Beach, Manhattan Beach, Redondo Beachóenjoying time by the ocean, at the piers and on the plazas. Temperatures were in the low-70s during the day, a little chillier at night. Jacket weather, but still nice. There's a wonderful small-town, beach community vibe down there. A couple of times while I was walking around, strangers on the sidewalk actually said "hi" to me. I love it there. It's the kind of place where people sit on their patios or rooftops, pour themselves a margarita (invented in Hussongs, don't you know) and watch the sun set over the pacific.

Welcomed back with a nasty snow storm last night. Was driving back from the airport with my friend Derek, the Air Canada pilot (he and his wife Sheri were in town, and his flight got in at the same time as mine, so we arranged to drive in from the airport together. He keeps a car there for lay-overs). We started driving down the 427. Saw 2 or 3 accidents along the way, and then the SUV directly in front of us started swerving, spun completely around and started sliding for the guardrail. It hit the guardrail pretty hard and then started rebounding back towards us! Derek managed to maneuver around it and kept us out of harm's way. It pays to drive with a pilot.

I wanted back on the plane. It was safer.

I'll post some pictures when I get them developed, but for now here are a few snapshots in words:

Welcome to Mexico: We had barely left Ensenada, when we found ourselves in a roadblock "manned" by a squad of federales, dressed in green army uniforms and toting M-16s. I say "manned" in quotation marks, because none of them looked older than 16. One of them had a screwdriver and he was poking through the empty trunk of the car stopped in front of us. Our turn came and they asked my sister to get out and open her trunk. It was packed to the brim with stuff, not contraband, just stuff she keeps in there. The first soldier calls another guy over to come have a look, gesturing toward the fully laden cargo hold as if to say "look at all this junk." The second armed teenager raises his eyebrows, looks at my sister as if to say "how can you keep so much stuff in your trunk?", and waves us on our way.

Definition of surreal: Driving across the Mojave desert on American Thanksgiving Day listening to "The countdown of the top 40 Christmas songs of all time" on one of the few available radio stations! "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..." Uh, maybe somewhere, Bing, but not here.

"It never rains in Southern California...": ...but on my last night there, Friday night, it poured. Man, it poured. Quite an event I'm told. I asked my sister, who's lived there for 30 years, when was the last time it rained like that, and she couldn't remember. The late-í80s possibly. It was on all the newscasts. Weird.

And now, it's back to Normal. But I feel a bit more refreshed and rested. And only three weeks before I go home for xmas!

The Horse Rides Again

There are some things in life that you just can't pass up. Free beer? Sure! Invitation to the Playboy Mansion? Thanks! Complimentary peanuts? Well, I'm allergic and they could kill me... but, okay!*

So it was that I went to see Neil Young & Crazy Horse last night at the ACC, with Lucinda Williams as the opening act. Bought two tickets when they went on sale. At that time, I didn't even know that Lucinda was opening. Just can't pass up a chance to see Neil, especially with the Horse. There are lots of artists that I love and worship, but somehow Neil Young's music has always had a special pull on me, ever since I was 14 and I first slipped under my Koss headphones in "my corner" of my parent's rec room and dropped the needle on the copy of the Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere LP I had borrowed from my pal Mumbley.

*pop* *hiss* *crackle* ... jahd-daa daa daa daa, daa daa daa dow da... I wanna live with a cinnamon girl/ I can be happy the rest of my life with a cinnamon girl/ A dreamer of pictures, I run in the night/ You see us together chasing the moonlight, my cinnamon girl...

Raw, simple, direct, poetic, vivid, enthralling ... drawn straight in, unfiltered. Aaaahhhh, this is the shit. YESSS!

I had also borrowed After The Gold Rush and Harvest from Mumbley and from my friend Tony, Rust Never Sleeps and Live Rust.

Deeeee-vohhhh-teeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

My fate was sealed when I came home late one Friday night after being out partying with my friends, went to the kitchen to prepare my usual triple-decker peanut butter and jam sandwich with a glass of milk. Mom and Dad were in bedóperhaps asleep, but maybe listeningóand the kitchen was lit only by the dim light above the stove. But that was okay because my pupils were as big as saucers. I could've made that sandwich in the dark, by the glow of the translucent strawberry jam, and caught any errant dollop of PB before it hit the floor. In fact, I wasn't even the least bit hungry, but under such circumstances, where Mom and Dad may have been monitoring the nature of my movements for the telltale signs, usual habits must be re-enacted. The message: Everything is normal.

I went downstairs to the rec room. I forced myself to eat the sandwich. The purple butterflies in my stomach loved it. I switched on the small black-and-white TV to see if anything interesting was on Friday Night Videos. And there was. Neil and Crazy Horse. Live footage of them performing "Like A Hurricane". I've never seen this footage since. Sometimes I wonder if I was hallucinating. Neil had really long, straight hair, and as he wailed away on Old Black, his black Les Paul, his hair was blown back from his face by a powerful fan.

And I was blown away. I sat transfixed on the floor in front of the TV, drinking it all in.

I am just a dreamer,
but you are just a dream...

That perfect feeling
when time just slips
Away between us
on our foggy trip...

If I was already a fan, this experience branded me for good. It sewed a Crazy Horse patch on my soul.

So I've never passed up a chance to see Neil. First time was at the Moncton Coliseum in í84 or í85. Just my luck, Neil was deep into his í80s tranformations. The which-neil-will-show-up-on-the-next-album game had begun. Computer music? Rockabilly? He was now in his "gone country" thing, with the Old Ways album, touring with a band called The International Harvesters. I wasn't that big on country music at the time, although I dug his Harvest stuff, of course. But I wanted to see Crazy Horse! I wanted "Like A Hurricane", "Powderfinger", "My My Hey Hey". Well, I didn't get the Crazy Horse experience, but it was my first Neil show, and it was great to see him. The country tunes were all right. "Get Back To The Country", "California Sunset". I appreciate them more now. But he did play some of his classics, like "The Needle And The Damage Done", and he even dusted off a Buffalo Springfield favourite of mine, "Flying On The Ground Is Wrong", played it on his old, beautiful Gretsch.

I finally caught the Crazy Horse experience in í89 or í90, in Detroit on the Ragged Glory tour. It was worth the wait. The full Crazy Horse experience, with the giant amps and microphone stand from the Rust Never Sleeps/Live Rust stage set, and even "Farmer John" wandering around the stage as the band played.

Saw him a few years later at the Fox Theater in Detroit, an amazing solo acoustic concert showcasing his Harvest Moon songs, prior to the album's release. Then a few years later touring with Booker T & The MG's as his backup band, and then again with Crazy Horse in í97, an outdoor show in Barrie, north of Toronto. Great shows all.

So when tickets went on sale for the current tour stop at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, it was a no-brainer, although I did have some reservations about this show. I had learned that the main set of the concert would be songs from Neil's Greendale album, to be released this fall. I had heard some of the songs being streamed from his web site from a solo show in Dublin, and I was a little underwhelmed. But maybe once they were given the Crazy Horse treatment, it might be a different story. Plus there was a dramatic element to this show, as the stage was also to be shared with a set of the fictional town, populated by actors who dramatized scenes reflecting the songs. Apparently Greendale is Neil's story of three generations living in the town of Greendale, an Anytown in Anywhere, America. A kind of a concept piece. More on this later.

First, though, I had to unload the extra ticket I had bought. I often buy two tickets for a show I want to see, on the assumption that I'll find someone to go with meóand I usually do. But I had left it to the last minute this time, and it was a pretty steep price at $70, so I wasn't very surprised when I had no takers, although there was one person who might have come along, but for a prior commitment.

So I hung outside the ACC before the show and tried to sell my extra ticket, but no luck. It was a sold-out show, but there were many people with extra tickets for sale, and that's not including the professional scalpers. I didn't want to sell it to a scalper, and so I approached many people, but no takers. It's hard to sell just one ticket. Most people were there with one or two other people. And there were a few solo people who might have been potential buyers, but they looked like the type of people that I didn't think I'd want to have next to me at a concert. Just before I gave up, I asked one scalper, and he offered me $20 for it. Fuck that. They don't care about the music, they're just there to make a buck, so I decided if I couldn't sell it to a fan, I'd just swallow the cost. But I should have just bought one ticket. Oh well.

The drag is that the time I spent outside trying to offload the ticket meant that I missed Lucinda Williams, but she'll be back on her own to play a smaller venue.

I got to my seat(s) just as Neil began. The Greendale set was... interesting. Hour and 45 min. Not riveting, but okay. Lots of dramatic elements on stage. A jail cell to stage left. A cabin with a porch on stage right. And behind the band, a large raised stage with an elevator floor and a big screen behind it. For certain songs, people driving prop cut-out cars would pop up, the screen behind them showing filmed footage of highway scenery flying past. For other songs it was a young girl's bedroom, others still a bar with people dancing, etc. The characters mimed the songs that Neil was singing. The Devil made an appearance.

There was a political element to it. Several of Neil's introductions took aim at the Bush administration, and the Patriot Act. At one point the screen displayed a drawing of a Clear Channel billboard that said "Support Our War". An interesting message, since the US portion of the tour is apparently sponsored by Clear Channel.

Neil's microphone stand was the coolest piece of hi-tech mic-standery that I've ever seen. It looked like the Terminator mic stand. An arc of stainless steel with a kind of a gyroscope-type space in the middle that looked like it was possibly housing a camera. It curved up toward him, and he had at least two mics on the end (one for a megaphone effect that he used for one song) and his harmonica, instead of being in the traditional neck holder, was actually fixed to the mic stand! I was thinking that must take some practice, so you don't bust your mouth on it.

The songs themselves were a mixed bag. Most were sort of mid-tempo, blues-y rock numbers, kind of in the "This Notes For You" vein, but sparser. A few sounded quite good, with some nice lead guitar parts from Neil. Frank "Pancho" Sampedro, the rhythm guitarist played a barely audible electric piano throughout the set. There was one solo acoustic number called "Bandit" that was quite good. But mostly, the music was a little uninspiring.

Ben Raynor's review in the Toronto Star pretty much got it right, especially the sense of the storyline (except he missed one encore. Slip out early did you Ben?):

"Later on, we'll dust off a few antiques," [Young] promised at the outset, before the first of numerous actors appeared at stage left, rocking on a front-porch set and pantomining to "Falling From Above" lyrics: "A little love and affection will make the world a better place." And on Greendale went, from that sweet and hippie-ish beginning, somehow threading a cop killing, a jailhouse visit from Satan, a media-triggered heart attack and one comely dancing girl into an overarching message ó delivered with a full-cast onstage dance party ó about the need to preserve nature for future generations. Or something.

After the main set, Neil and the band returned for three encores, all Crazy Horse nuggets, with Sampedro back on guitar. "My My Hey Hey", "Like A Hurricane", "Love To Burn", "Powderfinger" (wooo!) and "Roll Another Number". Seeing them do these songs was almost worth the price. I love "Powderfinger" and, of course, "Like A Hurricane".

Ahhh, but it's great to "smell the horse." Who knows when/if they'll tour again? They're getting up there. Pancho is looking fairly... panchy these days.

So it was a bit of a steep price to pay, but it felt really good to see one of my favourite bands playing some of my favourite songs. That feeling is priceless.


* I'm not really allergic to peanuts.

"Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again"

Interesting and often hilarious interview with Tom Waits over at The Onion. Makes me wish there was a portal into that man's head. "Being Tom Waits" would be one hell of an interesting experience.

I love this part:

O: There's a section on your web site about fans who have spotted or encountered you in public. Do you have a problem going out?

TW: I go where I feel like. Funny little story... I drove on a field trip once, to a guitar factory, to show all these little kids how to make guitars. So we're standing there, and I'm looking around, and folks are looking over at me, and I'm just waiting for someone to recognize meóyou know, "Hey, aren't you that music guy? That singer guy?" Nobody. Nothing. We're there for, like, two hours, watching them put the frets on and all that, and I'm waiting and waiting. A week later, I took the same group of kids on a field trip to the dump, and as I pulled up, don't ask me how, but my truck was surrounded by people that wanted an autograph. It was a dump, for Christ's sake. I guess everybody knows me at the dump.

It's The Young Man From Scene 153

Was re-watching Almost Famous tonight on TV. There's a scene near the end, where our hero, the young, rookie Rolling Stone writer William Miller, is on the phone being consoled by his mentor, legendary rock journalist Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman), after young William's cover story on the band Stillwater falls apart when the band denies everything about the story, and the magazine rejects the piece as being fraudulent. Bangs is giving William his sage advice, and... aw hell, I'll just let the script tell the story. But check out the little nugget of truth at the end. I love that.
(script exerpt courtesy of script-o-rama.com)

153 INT. BIG OFFICE -- NIGHT 153

William sits in the "big" office. It's a small white tank.
After all the sound and fury, there is only the hum of a
large electric typewriter. His research, transcripts and
some band photos sit nearby. He takes a bite of a candy bar, a sip of coffee. He looks at the phone.

INT. LESTER BANGS' BEDROOM -- NIGHT

Crazy jazz is playing. Lester Bangs on the phone.

LESTER BANGS
Aw, man. You made friends with them!
See, friendship is the booze they feed
you. They want you to get drunk on
feeling like you belong.

INTERCUT:

INT. ROLLING STONE -- NIGHT

William in the empty Rolling Stone office.

WILLIAM
(ruefully)
Well, it was fun.

LESTER BANGS
They make you feel cool. And hey. I
met you. You are not "cool."

WILLIAM
I know. Even when I thought I was, I
knew I wasn't.

LESTER BANGS
That's because we are uncool! And
while women will always be a problem for
guys like us, most of the great art in
the world is about that very problem.
Good-looking people have no spine!
Their art never lasts! They get the
girls, but we're smarter.

WILLIAM
I can really see that now.

LESTER BANGS
Yeah, great art is about conflict and
pain and guilt and longing and love
disguised as sex, and sex disguised as
love... and let's face it, you got a
big head start.

WILLIAM
I'm glad you were home.

LESTER BANGS
I'm always home! I'm uncool!

WILLIAM
Me too!

LESTER BANGS
(leveling)
The only true currency in this bankrupt
world if what we share with someone
else when we're uncool.

Downie-Loading

Now this is how it should be done. Tragically Hip frontman Gord Downie just released his second solo CD Battle Of The Nudes and has been playing a bunch of local shows in advance of his summer tour. Now he's releasing recordings of those concerts, downloadable from his web site. And he'll be doing that for every show on the tour.

I'll let the announcement from his email update list give the details:

Have you ever wanted a copy of the live show you attended? On this summer tour Gord will make available each and every show from the tour. Completely live, no re-mixing, no out-takes!

The first two shows of Gord Downie and The Country of Miracles are now for sale as digital downloads. Each and every show is just $10 (Canadian funds). All songs are in MP3 format (128 kbps). Down the road future shows should be available within 72 hours so check back often to get the show you want.

Go here to download the shows.

I was at the Lee's Palace show for NxNE, so I'll probably download that one.

Of course, loyal jimbuck2 reader Deano was ahead of the curve on this one, having had a similar set up with a club in San Fran several years ago, which formed the basis for his unfortunately short-lived record label Unicycle Records. You're a pioneer Deano.

Is That A Vent?

I would like to thank the lady in front of me in the supermarket express lane tonight for her sterling math skills. The sign says 1-to-8 items. By my count you had 13. Now, I think it's okay to have 9 or 10 items. I'm not that anal. But 13? That's more than 50% over the limit. Oh, and thank you for placing the bar on the conveyer belt to separate my three items from yours. We wouldn't want you to be mistaken for having 16 itemsóthat would be 100% over the limit, instead of the mere 50% over that you had already achieved.

IT'S CALLED AN EXPRESS LANE FOR A REASON LADY!! THANKS TO YOUR SELFISHNESS I MISSED MY DAMN BUS AND HAD TO WAIT 15 MINUTES FOR THE NEXT ONE!

*deep breath*

okay, I feel better now.

Just watching "Life Is Beautiful" on CBC. One of those movies I meant to get around to seeing when it was in the theatres, but never got around to seeing it.

But really, god bless Roberto Benigni. The world needs more clowns.

Gone Fishiní

Reason #458,526 why people have no faith in politicians.

All Hail The Box Oí Fun

June is National Accordion Awareness Month, so don't forget to squeeze any accordionists you might know.

(I actually did last week, though I was oblivious to the ceremonial significance of the act.)

If you go to that web site, you'll find many interesting facts about the accordion. For instance, did you know:

• The piano accordion is the official musical instrument of the city of San Francisco and has been since 1990. This year is the 13th anniversary!


• Actress Lucy Liu plays the accordion.


• The accordion is a member of the reed family, not the keyboard family.


• China is the largest manufacturer and exporter of accordions in the world.

Waddya know.

Slices Of Pi

Just finished reading "Life Of Pi", the Man Booker Prize-winning novel by Yann Martel. Enjoyed it immensely. I actually dreaded the thought that it would end. It's a joy to read and a wonderful wonderful wonderful piece of storytelling.

You can read excerpts here.

That may have been the lamest headline I've come up with yet.

Shavings Of Meat/Shaving Of Me

I stopped off at the New York diner at Danforth & Broadview after work for some supper. Had the small gyros dinner. Apparently the difference between the "small" and the "large" dinner is that the small utilizes the meat from merely one whole lamb, plus potatoes, rice and greek salad.

But you know what they say about Greek food: 8 hours later and you're hungry again.

But, at least I'm not feeling quite as heavy as I would have been a few days ago. Y'see, I'm a little lighter on top. Though I've been sporting the buzzed dome look (which leaves a little stubble) for some years now, I decided to try the completely shaven head thing again. I've tried it before, but I wasn't very happy with the way it looked. But now, with the goatee being back, I kinda like it. It's nice for the summer months, that's for sure. When it's an oppressively hot day, any little breeze over a smoothly shaved cranium feels wonderfully refreshing.

And, using this nifty little device called The HeadbladeÆ, makes it a lot easier. It really works quite well once you get used to it. I also found this page that's full of useful tips and info for chrome-dome devotees.

"Who loves ya, baby!"