Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Miss Misery Loves Company

October is turning out to be a brutal month. More leaves falling than usual. I didn't expect to be writing two suicide entries in a row.

Elliott Smith. Now gone.

Damn.

I was shocked when I read the news. It literally jolted me in my seat. But I can't say I was surprised. In the past year or so, while fans like me waited for him to release a new album, I had been hearing some disquieting accounts of messy live performances where Elliott was barely able to make it through songs, such as this review of a Chicago show opening for Wilco. It seemed Elliott was struggling with demons and chasing dragons. That review in Glorious Noise even strongly suggested that it was a battle he was bound to lose sooner than later. That prescience was sadly and bitterly noted in today's obit piece.

I reviewed a show he played here at the Opera House in 1999, and concluded by lamenting the fact that it ended too soon. Now I'm reprising that lament for the man himself.

He had apparently almost completed his long-awaited and much-delayed sixth album From A Basement On The Hill, which is reportedly an amazing piece of work. And he had released a single. No irony in the name of the record label. Jeezus.

If you don't know Elliott Smith's music, do yourself a favour and pick up Either/Or, X/O and Figure 8. I recommend the latter two especially.

His music was beautiful. Scratch that. His music is beautiful. Fragile. Turbulent. Tender. The closest thing to a post-grunge Beatles that I've heard. But certainly listening to his songs, you knew that he was, at his core, a troubled soul.

And yet...I don't know...how can someone write a song like "Say Yes", as poignant and achingly beautiful as anything from Alex Chilton or Paul Westerberg, and then end up ultimately saying the biggest No. At the same time, as generally positive as that song is ("I'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl who's still around the morning after") it, like many of his songs, certainly reveals his insecurities...
Situations get fucked up
and turned around sooner or later...

I'll probably be the last to know
No one says until it shows
and you see how it is
They want you or they don't
Say yes

I just wish he would have been able to say Yes for a little while longer.

I'll give Elliott the last word:
Independence Day

Future butterfly
Gonna spend the day higher than high
You'll be beautiful confusion, ooh
Once I was you

I saw you caught between
All the people out making the scene
And a bright ideal tomorrow, ooh
Don't go too far
Stay who you are

Everybody knows
You only live a day
But it's brilliant anyway

I saw you in a perfect place
It's gonna happen soon but not today
So go to sleep and make the change
I'll meet you here tomorrow
Independence day
Independence day
Independence day

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