Tuesday, September 03, 2002

This is a nice blog... to poop on!

If you caught the MTV Video Awards the other night, then you probably saw the "brouhaha" when Triumph The Insult Comic Dog found himself and his gravity-stricken cigar in the middle of the tiff between Moby and Eminem (those poop-disturbers!) The subsequent message on TTICD's web page is pretty funny.

TRIUMPH'S MESSAGE TO HIS FANS
"I would like all of you to know that I am fine, that the scuffle at the MTV awards involving Eminem, Moby and Eminem's trusty friend who threw my pooping paper in the air did not result in permanent injury. As soon as Christina Aguilera came out, I licked myself as a test and my pink thing was perfectly functional. You will be glad to know that Moby also licked himself and all systems were go."
[ read more...]

People I met at a barbecue over the weekend were telling me how badly Guns N' Roses sucked on the awards show. They were the big surprise closing act, but it was just Axl Rose and a bunch of other facelessóliterallyóguys. I caught the rerun Sunday night, and my god, in the name of all that is good and holy... did he ever suck! He was horrible! That must have been the worst ever performance on an awards show. I never liked his screeching to begin with (he should have been banned from music for butchering Knockin' On Heaven's Door), but his completely off-key screeching was enough to try anyone's "patience". That is, when he wasn't sucking wind, trying to catch his breath. Mick Jagger is, what, 30 years older, but he would have made Axl look like a flat tire. Now that's embarassing.

I swear, I could literally hear the nails going into the coffin of Axl's career.

And before I go, let me just find one more excuse to use italics. Thank you.

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