"Squeeze"-ing The Most Out Of The Night

I had heard that former Squeeze singer Glenn Tilbrook's club shows are often bizarre experiences. Tales of parking lot serenades from atop cars and dumpsters, marching the club crowd down the street and finishing the show in a friend's living room, etc., so when I saw he was playing the Horseshoe, I knew I didn't want to miss a chance to be a witness to these kinds of hijinks. Last night I went to the venerable 'Shoe with high(jinks) expectations—and I wasn't disappointed.

Considering the odd twists the night would take, Tilbrook took the stage in a very low-key manner—virtually appearing out of the shadows, with hardly anyone noticing, until he said "Hi, I'm Glenn Tilbrook". There were perhaps a dozen people hovering near the edge of the checkered dance floor area in front of the stage, and maybe another 30 or 40 in the rest of the club. Hardly a capacity crowd. But those that were up front were die-hards to the core. After introducing himself, Tilbrook then said "now, I'm going to introduce myself to you in a more personal way", and he jumps off the stage (showing no signs of lingering ill effects from a recently sprained ankle) and proceeds to shake hands with almost everyone in the immediate vicinity of the stage. "Hi, i'm Glenn... Hello... Hello, I'm Glenn, nice to meet you...Hi, welcome..." He then explained to everyone, while still standing on the dance floor, shouting into the club like a street busker, that there were a few rules to be followed for his show. The first rule: Anything Goes! He implored us to move around if we wanted to, migrate around the club, by all means dance (and he gave us some examples of suggested styles of dancing, all of which were quite silly), but most importantly, he begged us to move closer and fill up the space in front of the stage, which we did.

The first hour of his set consisted of mostly solo material, I think, although there may have been a few obscure Squeeze songs in there. He did entertain requests, though was not above gently mocking the requestors if they seemed overly zealous, which many of them were. But he also sent more than a few of them into rapturous squeals by honouring a call for a song of his called "Interview With Randy Newman" (I think), which seemed to be either a true or completely ficitious account of him interviewing Mr. Newman for BBC Radio.

An hour into the set, he announced that he had two propositions for us. 1) we could all put down our drinks and go for a walk outside while he played songs, or 2) we could stay put and continue on with the set as is. Despite the protestations of one yob who had been there since 8:30 to get a table and didn't want to lose it (!), Proposition 1 ruled the day by show of hands. So Tilbrook picks up his 12-string acoustic guitar, hops off the stage and leads us out through the Horseshoe and onto the sidewalk on Queen Street. After a short briefing to let us know what he was going to do (and a suggestion that we jog along behind him in a similar fashion to the Maoist ralliers in China during the height of the Cultural Revolution...he was fond of the way they had jogged and waved Little Red Books), we set off eastward down the Queen St. sidewalk. There were about 60 or 70 of us, laughing and singing the refrain to the Squeeze song "Goodbye Girl" while Glenn led us, walking backwards and playing his guitar ñ like the pied piper of pop absurdity.

It was so hilarious. People honked from cars, taxis stopped, street car riders stared blankly. We got to the end of the block, just past the Bamboo and before the Black Swan, hung a left through a parking lot, where Tilbrook finished "Goodbye Girl" and started the Squeeze classic "Pulling Mussels From The Shell", to wild applause. We then turned west and the merry music mob started down the small one-way street that runs behind the Horsehoe—more like an alley, almost—Tilbrook still walking backwards as he sang and played... and we all sang along, our voices slapping off of the valley of apartment buildings and clubs ... "behind the chalet, my holiday's complete, and I feel like William Tell, Maid Marian on her tip-toed feet, pulling mussels from a shell..."

And that's when we notice the police car approaching from the opposite direction.

As it draws near, Tilbrook, still singing, approaches the driver's side window as the merry mob flows on either side of the car, like an amoeba around a foreign particle. The cop rolls down the window... and he's singing the song!! He knows the words! Tilbrook sits up on the hood of the cop car, leaning back to look at the cop while he sings, the cop turns on the flashing lights, and we all finish the song together, bathed in the red and blue, and the warm glow of that "this-is-just-too-cool-to-be-real" feeling. We all break into a huge cheer, thank the officer, and file back in through the rear entrance of the Horseshoe. Tilbrook finishes off the set and encores with more Squeeze hits: "Tempted", "Another Nail In My Heart", "Annie Get Your Gun"...

Absolute euphoria.

Without a doubt, this was the most bizarre and deeply satisfying club show I have ever experienced. What a great feeling. I'm still shaking my head at it all. Sweet absurdity at its best. Thank you Glenn!